I think you have chosen the wrong person to spend the rest of your life with.

I think I bloody need to see a shrink for some therapy. Or maybe undergo hypnosis to make me stop!

Hello it’s not like I’m earning lots of money, and it’s not like I’m buying cheap things. I NEED TO WAKE UP MY FREAKIN IDEA!

I love her as much as I hate the way she hurts me without knowing.

Her techniques of trying to force me into doing something just makes me want to give her a tight slap. I know its a sickening thought but admit it, there are times when you would just appreciate if your parents let you handle things the way you deem fit!

Her ways of forcing me to bed includes switching off the internet and tv signals which are inter-connected to my room’s antenna. Fucked up enough? No. She then came storming into my room swinging my door wide open while cursing mumbles at me. That, I fucking hate it.

Come on, its not as though the TV is the only thing that keeps me entertained through the break of dawn and god knows what time. I have my cellphone that has full capacity within to twit, blog, facebook, surf net. Although its slow (3G + bad network signals reeks LAG), its bearable.

I not only have my cellphone, I have 2kGB worth of drama stored in my external hard disk and laptop awaiting my viewing pleasure. Did it come across to her that forcing shut everything wouldn’t deter me from staying awake?

No. Its not within my control to fall asleep now or later because my insomnia is due to being ‘jet lagged’ everyday. I can’t possible co-exist in 2 diff GMTs in the speed light. Readjustment to +8GMT is no longer a choice because if I were to do that, living in GMT zone (ie London) would be exhausting! Vice versa!

I have adjusted my sleeping pattern based on my work timings and I can’t just sleep altho my body is tired. I try, I tried and I’m still trying! It is just so frustrating to abide by her wishes. Quitting my job is one thing, receiving no encouragment is another!

Who bad mouths their own daughters’ in front of friends and relatives? My mom. She has no praises for me and perhaps her way of praising me is to put me down in front of everyone else. I HATE IT. It makes me bear a greater grudge against her which I really don’t wish to.

Sigh. I don’t feel bad for saying all these because she refuses to do anything about it.

I can’t handle my own problems, not to say I don’t have the time and energy to LISTEN to anyone’s problems.

Please spare me from those.

Feeling confused. That’s where I pretty much start hallucinating.

I feel a sudden urge to quit my job, then fly back to Adelaide to stay there for awhile..

I need a break from work. I’m so physically and mentally exhausted, I feel like throwing everything away.

Sigh… Times like this, I wish my only worry is all about exams and nothing else. Being a student is the best.